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A Little Wall Street Christmas Humor For the Holidays
This is a Christmas joke for those who work on Wall Street and are tired of the SEC insider trading rules. Apparently, at a news conference at the North Pole, Santa Corporation announced its new plans to the public. The Public being the 15-Eskimos in the nearby village, 44 Polar Bears, and the local news media, consisting of one reporter with a digital camera and satellite internet connection. The new strategic plan is nothing short of brilliant, and so all those gathered to hear the conference, as well as the 1,552 elves of the NPTM Union (North Pole Toy Makers Union – Local 143).Christmas Humor – Chris Kringle Challenged After Class Action Lawsuit on Lead Base Painted Toys
This is a Christmas lawyer joke; Santa Claus Corporation is having a terrible time due to all the negative media reports about lead-based paint on toys. The North Pole Corporation does not buy toys with this type of paint, as it makes them in their own factories using an abundant supply of elves and local polar bears. Nevertheless, parents are telling their kids not to order toys on their Christmas wish lists, and this is causing a huge problem because the company has been building up its inventory for Christmas, now everyone is changing their minds.9 Tips For Successful Slacking!
Now folks these are my trade secrets! Ordinarily you’d have to pay for this or I’d have to kill you or a combination of the two. If you ever want your boss to think you are working tirelessly then this is right up your alley!Bumper Sticker Maniac – It’s Fun to Get Weird, Part Two
When I told you I couldn’t stop writing bumper stickers, I wasn’t kidding. Here are a few more for you to ponder and appreciate. I hope you’ll even write a few of your own. They are so much fun and great for your brain. “Bumper-Stickering” is also an excellent party activity. Once again, enjoy.Christmas Humor – A Look at the Challenges of Literacy in Our Schools
This is a hard hitting political joke about our challenges with “No child left behind” in a Christmas setting. Apparently, the high dropout rates in high school are causing problems all over the United States, and in most of the US territories. Take the North Pole for instance where the dropout rate amongst elves is nearly 22%. Santa Claus Inc. is having a very tough time with just over 20% of their workforce being illiterate. Mrs. Claus, the corporation’s human resource director stated; “If the elves can’t read the instructions, we are unable to keep up with our Six Sigma factory assembly line goals for 99.98% perfection.”Achmed the Dead Terrorist – More Don’t-Miss Information About Jeff Dunham, Achmed’s Awesome Creator
So, here we present to you the fantastic Mr. Jeff Dunham, the man behind some of the funniest stuff to hit the world in recent years. He is the guy who created none other than our Achmed the (incompetent) dead terrorist, one of the silliest, bumbling characters known to man, who, incidentally died from a bad dose of “premature detonation”… ahem.Holiday Christmas Joke For the Serious Article Marketer
This is a joke for article marketers only; Santa Claus Corporation in order to cut costs has been taking orders online, rather than spending the extra money for stamps. This has increased its efficiency and allowed them to take orders all the way up until December 23 each year from the billions of kids who want toys for Christmas. To drive targeted traffic to their website to increase efficiency, Mrs. Claus has been writing online articles and posting them at the top online article submission websites.Chris Kringle Challenged Due to Poisonous Pet Food
Recently, Santa Claus made a rather unfortunate announcement. Several of the reindeer have perished due to eating poisonous pet food. Dasher, Comet, and Blitzen are no longer with us and Dancer is in a comatose state, at the local hospital. “The health care costs are enormous, and we’re not sure we can save him. Currently he is on life support, and we are all praying for him,” said the corporate communications lady.Non Politically Correct Christmas Joke So We Can Laugh at Ourselves and Society
This is a bit of humor, as Santa is sued before Christmas. The CEO and Chairman of Santa Claus Inc. cannot understand why he was named in a lawsuit claiming that he was a racist. Chris Cringle VII said that his company has been delivering toys to children of all nationalities, and races for over 150 years, and he personally didn’t care what color a child is, every child on this planet is special, and he was deeply hurt emotionally when he heard of these charges and allegations filed in the court at the North Pole.Christmas Humor – Santa Reports First Loss in 150 Years Due to Over Regulation
This is a non-politically correct joke that will appeal to business owners; It appears that the Santa Claus Corporation is having a tough time competing in the marketplace due to the over regulation that has permeated the North Pole. “This is worse than the global warming theory,” said Santa, “Over regulation is preventing our factories producing all the toys we need to make to get out for 2009 Christmas season. If we don’t finish in time, all is lost and we don’t want to lose our contract for Christmas, especially at a time we just picked up the contract for Hanukkah.”A Little Christmas Chris Cringle Humor For the Holidays
This is a joke, one of political humor; The Obama Administration and the Congress have levied fees on all toys coming from China. Unfortunately, this includes all toys that also come from the North Pole. The elves union that works at the Santa Claus Corporate Campus is fit to be tied. They are staging “FEE Parties” in Washington DC and they are sending “red and green slips” to all the Congressmen to show their frustration and anger.A Christmas Joke For You
A joke for Christmas. The United States Central Intelligence Agency or CIA is Assisting Santa Claus Corporation in delivering Toys in Afghanistan to the millions of children there. It seems that it is unsafe to bring in packages of toys by truck due to roadside bombs. Santa Claus, God bless his soul, refuses to pay off the Taliban to let him have safe passage into Kabul and other large cities in Afghanistan.