She Cheated On Me With A Billionaire – IMPAULSIVE EP. 308

How Did I Quit Smoking?

I loved smoking since i was 18. I still cherish those heavenly blessed moments when relaxing in my easy chair, apple juice glass in my left hand, cigarette in my right hand watching wrestling on my television with sun rays knocking at my window and entering with my permission to give such soothing effect on my whole body, and the tobacco olfactory along with the white fumes of smoke in my room making it a wonderful place to live and praise blessings of God. Life was roaming along in a very pleasant manner.

What Do You Get For Being Very Successful At Failing?

There’s got to be some reward for being a really good failure. It’s an art, you know. Not just any old wally can be consistently bad

The Great Ruse at Foggy Hollow

“Honey Bear…” said Barrister Bear. “We’ll soon be fifty years old. Do you suppose anyone will notice we’ve gotten older?”

Phone Solicitors I Love And Hate

There are many reasons to get on the no-call list for telephone solicitations. For those who have not been added, there are lots of opportunities for refusing to participate.

My Journey at Birth

You can find humor everywhere in your life, if you only stop to look. Even from the journey of birth.

Precision Instruments For Precision Quilting

WARNING: This article is for comic relief only and should be read as such. Do not take this to the quilting store and ask the nice lady for everything on the list. Remember the old saw, “For want of a nail, the kingdom was lost”?

Karma Police – Understanding Karma And How It Relates To The Claw

The concept of “karma” isn’t quite clicking for me this week. Just a few days ago, a cashier at a grocery store gave me over 60 dollars of change when I handed her a twenty-dollar bill. This, of course, is my favorite kind of math and the only way to truly fix the economy, but I decided to give the money back to the cashier in exchange for some good karma. Let’s face it, in the heat of the moment at a grocery store, one’s conscience always seems to kick in. That’s why people look at tabloid magazines while in line but don’t actually buy them, and why people buy pumpkins with the intention of cutting them but instead just draw faces on them. After all, there is no “con” in “conscience,” except there actually is…

How To Properly Pat A Man’s Behind

Properly patting a man’s rear end in public is not as easy as it looks ladies. The fingers must be fully extended, not curled. That’s groping. Contact must be brief and to the right or left of the mid line. Also, the ideal spot is around the height of the convexity. Above or below and you risk being labeled a pervert.

Where’s The Ketchup?

The bad weather during the growing season affected produce. Fruit and vegetables are more expensive and, in my opinion, not as flavorful. I don’t like spinach, but it looks less tasty. Why is it called produce anyway? Lettuce doesn’t “produce” anything. Now, it’s almost cheaper to eat out–almost…

One Fine Day

This is a story about a milestone birthday that didn’t turn out as planned. A little dark in the middle, but alls well that ends well.

Once Upon a Time (Part One) – And Safely Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire (Part Two)

A funny account of a new Big Rig driver’s experiences on his first trip into The Big Apple. Sit in the right seat of a big truck while Traveler takes you on an adventure into the heart of the Bronx in a semi tractor and 53-foot trailer! Lots of laughs

Staying On The Funny Side – Of Commercials

Kelly pokes fun at the TV commercial moms in her hilarious weekly column, Staying on the funny side. Come laugh and relate to her antics of real mom versus TV mom.

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