My Worst Day on My Last Day of Employment

Two things happened to me on my way to work: 1. My flimsy khaki pants ripped completely down the seam. 2. A rock was in my path on the highway, which smashed against my exhaust pipe, releasing a lot of carbon monoxide.

George Tries On Cuthbert’s Splendid Helmet

King Freddie had appointed George in place of Cuthbert as England’s Patron Saint and Minister for the Environment. Cuthbert was retained as Minister for Subsidence, but George and Prime Minister Merlin were sent to help with Cuthbert’s first assignment at a castle in Wales. They lodged at the nearby Lark and Leak Inn and Cuthbert was soon sleeping soundly.

Our Five (Maybe Six) Main Senses

A fun way of looking at the many things going on with our body. Surely you can identify with most or all.

Donald Trump and Dee Snider Say We’re Not Gonna Take It

Twisted Sisters Dee Snider gives Donald Trump the green light to use his song “We’re Not Gonna Take It” for Trumps current political campaign. Both seem very happy about the situation.

Daddy Duck Attack

The Louisiana State University campus where I went to school years ago had lakes full of ducks, whose behavior made it clear that they owned the lakes; they marched, waddled and quacked behind whoever had a class near their home making it clear that if you were going to pass their home, you better bring bread. Us students, could hear duck wings flapping, and a chorus of quacking, before we opened our eyes each morning, including weekends. Perhaps Roosters were born to awaken farmers and Ducks were born to motivate students.

A Tribute to Comedy

Some of the greatest, funniest comedians have come and gone. Let’s keep their memory alive, and keep on laughing.

Front-Lines Measuring Drones

Now that the U.S. may or may not have “boots on the ground” in places where they aren’t supposed to be anyway, how do we keep them effective and not in danger? Is that silly?

George Tastes Ashanti Fire-Water

Patron Saint George, Prime Minister Merlin and George’s man, Jack, travelled to the Gold Coast in West Africa in search of food for a baby woggalog. Jack was known to the locals as Nsafufuo (Palm Wine), after his over-indulgence on a previous visit while serving in the Royal Navy. Travelling north from Ogua (modern Cape Coast), they reached the frontier post of the Ashanti Empire where they paid the entry tax in gold-dust. Soon after they resumed their journey they heard the talking drums. ‘They will know we are coming,’ said Jack to his companions, and Kofi nodded and added, ‘They are saying that our old friend Palm Wine is returning.’

When Cuthbert Was Reappointed Patron Saint

With the Prime Minister, Merlin the Whirlin, dismissed from office and George on strike, King Freddie had reappointed the old Patron Saint, Cuthbert, and made him both Prime Minister and Minister for the Environment. Although Cuthbert was Freddie’s old chum and jousting partner, the King did not have a high opinion of Cuthbert’s ability. Not only was he illiterate like Freddie himself, but he reverted to the old methods of monster control and was rapidly losing control of the situation. He was also baffled by the proceedings of Parliament.

Ridding England of Immigrant Monsters

Patron Saint Cuthbert had been reappointed by King Freddie after George went on strike in support of sacked Prime Minister, Merlin. The King reasoned that as George worked only half-time: on alternating armour-on and armour-off weeks, his services would not be missed. However, even kings can sometimes make mistakes.

Selecting The First English Cricket Team

It was in the days of Good King Freddie, and Prime Minister, Merlin, and Patron Saint and Minister for the Environment, George, had drawn up the rules for the game of cricket, with help from George’s man, Jack, who played for Frampton Cotterell. King Freddie sent a challenge to King Pierre of France and all the other reigning monarchs of Christendom that he was mounting a man and monster cricket competition in Windsor Great Park starting on the day of the summer solstice. A copy of the new rules was attached to each pigeon mail. The Englishmen did not wait for replies before beginning to assemble their team for the start of training.

When Saint George Had Green Hair

King Freddie had called for men with coloured hair to come forward to represent England in an international coloured hair contest initiated by a challenge from the Czar of Russia. Prime Minister Merlin had been busy exposing fakes who had painted their hair in the hope of winning the prize of a golden half-sovereign. George had already tried once with his hair painted green, but he was keen to try again now Little Red Spotty Man from the planet of Grendoleon had turned his hair green with a magic spell.

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