WE WALKED IN ON THEM! (Embarrassing)

Good Moaning!

The struggles and frustrations of an Englishman in France, trying to make sense of the French language and at least getting things off his chest, if nothing else. “I suppose that having never had any formal education in French at school puts me at an immediate disadvantage. When I first came to live in France some years ago I was optimistic…”

Corporations Are Not People!

So we’re hanging out in California the other day, because space travel is now affordable and we thought we’d explore a different planet and see if we could find any intelligent life. We didn’t. But we did find a lady in a wheel chair, rolling around a resort city with a big sign reading “Corporations Are Not People!” and collecting alms….

Your Brain Is a Red Liar

Our brains are hard wired to respond to red. Evolutionary psychologists explain this by pointing out that in the time before writing, when our brains were developing, if you saw red, something was happening that was worth your attention. You could be leaking red blood, something might be trying to eat you with its red mouth, delicious meat was red, your loincloth might be on red fire, those red berries might kill you, etc.

Maintaining Our Spending Superiority

Now that the long-awaited second Carter term is entering its fourth year, we should not be surprised that the president is finally getting a handle on defense spending. He was on the TV contraption the other day, announcing we’ll be slashing our defense budget, but “we’ll still maintain our military superiority.” After all, he argues, we ought to be able to get by on a budget still greater than that of the next ten nations combined…

Are You Really My Friend If We Just Chat on Line?

I am a networking junkie. I love being in a room with people I don’t know, hoping to start interesting conversations, build relationships and maybe even get business referrals.

Thank (God) For Godless Holidays

Now that the holidays are over, we can get back to the business of America. And thank God – no, strike that, thank the “community” – we have a president who understands what the business of America is (crony socialism, of course!)….

How The Share Button Made Facebook Annoying

Facebook used to be a lot less cluttered. At least, that was before the invention of the “share” button. As a result of that one little link now underneath every post, my wall has become nothing more than a confusing mess of useless cliches and talking animal posters. How are we, as intelligent people, to deal with this injustice? We make fun of them, of course!

How to Make Good Funny Jokes

Writers are always advised, “Avoid Cliches”. But cliches prove to be a highly desired and one of the most successful strategies in writing comedies.

Falling Down

When using a flight of stairs for the first time, I often christen them by falling all the way down them. In this article, I’ll explain the best techniques for falling down stairways that draw the most attention. I’ve had 34 years experience in the art of falling and now I’d like to share my expertise with you.

My Most Embarrassing Moment

Let me preface this by saying that to some people, this may be considered an “R” rating and others it will be “PG”. I’m leaning more to the “PG” status. Ok.

A Comedy of Errors the Day I Caught a Bank Robber

My real life experience when I was a police officer and I caught a bank robber. This was a true “Barney Fife” moment.

The Year That Wasn’t

So here’s a look back at some zany highlights from 2011 – stories you never heard, and which, according to the media and the government, never actually happened…

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